Dream Home Checklist

In response to today’s Daily Prompt, if I suddenly had the chance to build my dream home, I think I would be pretty humble about it. Maybe even give away my winnings to charity. I am quite satisfied with what I have. Although I might just want a thing or two for myself…

Now there are actually quite a few things I’d want for my dream home, now that I think of it. Most of them are fairly obvious, like a large pool in the backyard in which a boat, which is hanging overhead, swings from side to side like a pendulum. Others are quite unusual demands, like a non-scary ghost-less basement.

An obvious wish would be an automatic cleaning service. As in, some sort of magical vacuum cleaner-shaped device that follows you around and cleans up after you. It will also take care of spider-webs, garbage, dust and clothes lying around. Automatically, of course.

Now all those (and I assume there are many) who have a fantasy of deadly, high voltage electric fences lining their houses will agree with me on this- they rock! Anyone who tries to be a smart-ass and climb them and enter without permission? Dies. Anyone who tries to steal oranges from the giant orchard in your backyard (it is pretty obvious there will be an orchard)? Dies. Any stupid kid trying to climb over and retrieve the stupid ball he stupidly threw over to your house? Dies. Cool, huh?

There could be nothing else to want after that, right?

Oh wait. Then there is again the obvious What-to-wear-today system which works on complex algorithms to calculate what you will be wearing on a particular day, since you are obviously too busy to decide it on your own. Imagine the stress of waking up every morning and on top of every other hardship the world offers, having to remember what you wore throughout the past month/year and then decide what will be the most un-repeated, appropriate outfit to be worn that day. Thanks to the What-to-wear-today system, that task will no longer be another stress. Teehee.

There is another thing that I want. It is an unusual request and I don’t really think many of you would want it. But it is something that has to be in my dream home. I want there to be a bathroom where you cannot slip. An Unslippable Bathroom. Because seriously? Singing your favorite song and dancing in the shower and then slipping and breaking your neck is way overrated. I do not like those kind of things. So there.

Speaking of bathrooms, did I mention the very obvious little vent beside the bathtub which provides the most delicious breakfast while you are in the middle of a bath? Automatically, of course. A nice book alongside the breakfast would be appreciated.

And then there is the fully automatic refrigerator that does the lovely task of informing us of any diminishing stuff in advance. There’s nothing wrong with it preparing a grocery list for us as well. It’s actually pretty obvious, if you think about it.

That would be all.

Oh wait. There should be a secret chamber. With those password-protected doorways and all. I don’t know what will be in that chamber but it should be there.

And speaking of chambers, I’d like the bathroom to have one which is on wheels. Because how else would it sense (with its sensors, duh) that we need its services and it is required to stroll over to us in our time of need so that we don’t have to leave our valuable work just to go and uh…lighten up? Also, it would have an automatic powder system which would sprinkle lavender talc on our..uh..behinds. That was actually pretty obvious.

So then that would be all. Not much, if you think about it. The rest can go to charity.

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